A Memory that will be there forever...

There is a place in every mother's heart for each of her children.  A place all it's own.
This weekend, I cherish a special place in my soul, my heart, and my memory...


15 years ago, the Lord placed in my arms, TWO very special gifts.
The same in every way.  Two baby boys born the same day.
within the same hour, and with the same purpose.
To bring me closer to my Lord and Savior.
The Same God that gave me those beautiful, identical twin boys, is now holding them in Heaven,, Safe in His Care.


He took them home that day.  My heart was wrenched in two the moment I knew they were not mine to raise.
My trust in God's perfect plan was reminding me of the reason,
but my mother's heart ached an empty cavern for the little babies that we washed so tenderly, and had to say good-bye to.


There are many that have a deep crevice of loss on their heart. It may be the loss of a baby, or a spouse, a child or someone close.
The Lord Heals.
He promises us that He will never leave us not forsake us.
Cast your cares on Him.. for He cares for you... I know this.. He tells us in His Word, and He has.


It was a beautiful gift that the Lord in Heaven gave Dan and I when we held our dear and precious boys. 
 There hands so tiny.. their little faces resembling what we see each time we have had another baby.  Looking just like our other children.
The moments in time like these... are frozen for the memory becomes so strong in our hearts.
Purposely preserved for the comfort of our empty arms.


There is healing in  time... in the Lord.
I do not wallow in grief,, I do not drown in sadness.
Just the opposite.. now.. not then...
I praise the ONE who gave my boys their lives..
and gave them to me.


15 years of boyhood would be to their gain today...
but rather my loss is my Heavenly Father's great gain.
They can spend their time in worship to Him,
and I will praise Him for the time I had to carry them, hold them, and breathe sweet mothers words into their ears.
I love the Lord my God with all my heart, and all my soul, and with all my strength.


Remembering every tiny detail of my Luke and Aaron.
15 years this weekend.. I handed them back to the One who let me have a forever memory embedded in my mother's heart.

Just plain Encouraging

Below is a video I made for a Speaking Engagement... and thought I would share it here...

To help you keep your focus on where to turn this week when there are trying moments... little or big...

Please share this link by clicking the facebook icon after the post,,, if you know that it will encourage someone else.

Be sure to hit the PAUSE button on the RIGHT Sidebar where my Music Plays  BEFORE pushing play on the video.

Be Blessed.

A Penny for YOUR Thoughts..

If I had a penny for every time that I:

- Thought of someone else's needs

-Showed Contentment

- Acted upon a prompting

-Read my Bible

-Wrote a thank you note


-Gave someone a much needed hug

-Shared the Gospel

-Went out of the way to talk to another person

-Put on a smile to spread some cheer- even when I didn't feel like it

-Memorized more Scripture to lean on or to share

-Took a walk and held my spouse's hand

-Rocked and Sang to my children

-Sat down with a parent and just told them I love them

-Wrote a letter to a hurting person

-Rubbed my daughters back

-Put a grocery cart away for someone that needed help

-Prayed more fervently for wisdom, discretion and direction

-Was attentive to someone speaking to me,, and not distracted

-Used more Scripture in my discussions

-Prayed as a family as we never have before

-Thanked the Lord for every breath

-Fell to my knees in humble desperation and praise

......If I had a penny for every time this week that I did these things.. then I wouldn't need a thing...

HE ALONE WILL FILL MY CUP.

A Penny for YOUR thoughts this week....

Any one?

In the Face of Depression

The Lord created me in a marvelous way.

He gave me a smile to share with others..
He gifted me with a cheerful spirit...
He allowed me to be made whole through the Sacrifice of His Son.
,,, and then He walked with me  in a sad place... and brought me out.

This post is written to those that are walking in a dark valley.

For those that have been to this place, or know of someone that is there also.

Meeting depression face to face is sobering.
There are many "causes," reasons, and forms of depression.
This post is not intended to expound into those areas.. nor to exam or point to the lack thereof of Spiritual focus that may or may not be involved.

This post is to verify for those women that have had a baby, and have been to a low place, mainly due to hormone imbalance, lack of sleep, etc.. that this place is real, and there IS HOPE.

Having many pregnancies, nursing all of my children, being the sole source of nurturing through the night and mostly during the day can take its toll on a woman.

Let me clarify...
Have even ONE pregnancy can do the same.

The human body is made by our all-knowing Creator in an ever-miraculous way.
The balance is a fine one...
and sometimes the balance tips a little.
Hormones after having a baby.. and during... are strong in either direction.

This is my story...
and after much prayer and contemplation of writing this on my blog..
I know that there are MANY other women in the Face of Depression,,, and can't walk away.

Yes, I am tired.
Yes, I am hormonal after having a baby.
Who isn't?
I have been there many times...many.

But this last baby brought a whole new dimension to tired.
I met depression face to face.

I knew that something wasn't right.
I could not think past the minutes of exhaustion.
I could not move past my bedroom without tears.
There were moments where my pillow held too many tears.
My thoughts were dark...many nights alone on the bathroom floor.. crying tears that had no end.
Many times when my bags were packed and I was going to walk out the door.
My mind told me that no one needed me here any more.
This was NOT the "normal" recovery of tiredness, weepiness that I have had after other babies.
This was threatening my life in so many ways.
These were lies.
Dark lies - a physical and spiritual battle was ensuing.

This is NOT the September that you know.  This is not the September that I Know.
It is not the life that God wants.
With a lot of crying out to God,, He brought my body back to a restored balance and gave me rays of HOPE...
I quoted Scripture,, because it is the only thing that I knew was TRUE.
....Whatsoever is True.. think on these things.

My hormones were in such upheaval, and I could not see that I needed help.  No one knew that I was in this place.
No one.
And I was afraid to share the depths of my despair.. fearing the judgement and lack of genuine concern.
It has become a general rule for moms to be expected to jump back into life as normal, and the time of healing is often forgotten.
The pain of depression is deep, and can often be misjudged as selfishness, isolation, or too wrapped in our babies.
It is a lonely place.

If you are feeling this way after a baby...
please, please tell someone that you love.
Someone that loves you.
Tell them you need help. Prayer. and unconditional love.

If you know someone that has had a baby, and is exhibiting withdrawal, sadness, drastic change in behavior..
Please wrap your arms around them....and don't let go.

They need your prayers, they need your love, and sometimes,,, may need their medical care-giver to re-check their hormones.

This is just the tip of Post Partum Depression...
and it is written only to help someone that may read One September Day to recognize the need to immerse themselves in prayer, Scripture, and loving encouragers.

Depression is a word that seems to offend or be frowned upon...but..

There is Victory in Jesus!

Please contact me or leave a comment if you would like me to pray for you or someone you know.
The Lord has made my heart tender to this lonely place.
Don't leave someone to cry in their corner of their world alone - hoping that they  will "work through it."
See the signs,,,
Take a step in their direction..
and help bear their burden.

Life.. un-edited...

Sometimes..

Life is so perfect..

un-edited...

In the unexpected moments... God sends me a reminder of what He wants from me....

      

He wants all my fears and failures... all my concerns and cares..

Adoration, Praise, Humility and Unabashed Commitment ...

  UN- EDITED.

Don't take the real life out of your day -

Try not to hide your in-securities and fears from Him...

Live life where others can see your Blessings and Honor unto Him..

Don't edit out the mistakes that think will make you look imperfect to others..

Let our lives be un-edited so that the imperfections that he is fine-tuning can be made know to all.

I was left with a lot to think about..

Every once in a while, the Lord gives me great opportunity to see beyond the walls of my sheltered life/
To something way beyond the walls of my mind, heart, and soul.

I see it as a gift.
A deep chasm in my life that God wants me to fill with something better.
Betterment.. for His Glory.

When you live in the country.. you tend to stay in the country.
When I go to town, it is for menial errands, and such of the like.

When I visit our small town "city,"....
I feel as if I am staring.
a different life.  Total upside down world than mine.

My visit to the city a few days before the birth of our new baby..
to a part of town that I have not frequented before...
A place where quick judgements could be made upon observation.

Houses packed close together... you could reach out and touch another person's hand through your kitchen window.
No driveways for a vehicle,.. if you had the privilege to own one.
Yards void of grass...
animals tied to leashes, sullen and some neglected.

Upside down from a country girls view.

But these are only observations.
and judgements should be reserved for never.

I am waiting in the van, for my husband to meet with a client, in this city.
I am beyond uncomfortable.. actually teary this day for the end of this pregnancy has taken its toll on the emotions.

And while I wait...
I observe... all this city around me.

and the surprise ....
Isn't it always this way... God uses the least expecting times to bring us low.,. with His lofty wisdom.

I see this man... this serious looking man...
dark mustache..
sober eyes...
he is approaching the van.
he is with my husband.
I roll down my window.
My husbands introduces me.

and then...
( and I cry as I type this... I am in such awe of the moment.)

he puts his hand out to my belly... my bulging baby belly..
and quotes Scripture to me..
Verses about.How I am blessed beyond measure...
This is a gift from God,. this baby,..

and then...
he begins praying...
aloud.. PRAISING the Lord of Heaven..
for a new baby..
a new godly generation..
a couple that aims to please Him with their children..

I unabashedly close my eyes...
All pretenses of confusion,, embarrassment,,confusion over this man,
and tears streaming down my face...
my heart prays with Him ,...
in the middle of this city.

He wasn't a showy fanatic.
His words were not fake...
He was full of joy of the Lord.
The words from his lips were to bless us.. to praise The Creator...
and He did.

He finished praying.  I opened my moistened eyes to see my husband in the same state I was.
It was so surreal.
So divine.
Such a blessing.
To have a man of God walk out of this city home...
See an expecting mother,
and the 1st words from His mouth were of blessing, and Scripture, and encouragement.

We had a conversation in the middle of this city that day.
The three of us.
He reminded me of Paul the Apostle.  In Acts... unashamed.
I would have never from appearance expected this man to be a proclaimer of truth..
no show..
pure humility..
FULL knowledge and balance of God's word.

The more we talked...
the More Scripture and wisdom flowing from His mind, heart and mouth,,, than I have ever thought , studied or uttered in a life-time.

We talked of barriers that keep the People of God from worshiping TOGETHER.
We talked of God's power and provision.

Never once did he ask me this:
"What kind of music do you listen to?"
"Why do you wear pants, and not skirts?"
"Do you think that having a large family is "responsible?"

....No.
He encouraged us as believers to keep pressing towards the mark.

As we drove away that day, my husband and I literally just looked at each other in hushed awe and humility.
We were refreshed in spirit.

What would another human being think... if you approached them with Joy... blessing them with prayer... encouragement,. and Scripture... all in the same visit?

Not the pat greeting.. of   "Hi...How are you?"
Or concern over what they might not be doing right in THEIR Christian life.. according to YOU.

God's Word prevailed that day.  In the city.. where many judgements are made...
based on ...
observation 
OR
opinion.

How refreshing it was to meet a Christian who lives their faith every moment.. every day...
and does not live according to what is normal in the lives of those that Keep the Faith.

Another challenge to let His Word live out through me.
A tough one at that.
But why?

There are a lot of walls created by observation and judgement...
Christians live in fear of proclaiming the TRUTH.

Thank you man in the city.
a modern day Paul.
I am not ashamed of the Gospel!

Grasp and Never let go.. An update

It is within our grasp.... all of ours... GRACE.

I have been immensely blessed by the many, many prayers for our baby girl, my health, and God's will.

After a long night of continual giving back to the Lord, what my nature wanted to claim as worry, fear, and unrest...
I awoke to a blog full of blessing, prayers, and continual thanks for My Sovereign Lord who gave me a peace that passes all understanding.

I also received the phone call we have been waiting for.
NO LYME Disease.
Praise HIM!
Praise HIM!

This test has been looming in my heart for weeks, and As I waited, it occured to me...
The Lord can use this..
He can use the waiting, the wondering... to strengthen OUR faith.
Mine.
Yours.

And HE did.
We reached out..
Grasped Grace.
And I will never let go.

Praise Him with me?
I love you Lord...
Whisper it.
Sing it.
Proclaim it.
Shout it.
Carry it...
Sacrifice.

To God be the Glory!

There comes a time,,,

There comes a time in every season of life.. that one steps back,,, and sees what is really important.

So many seasons in our lives to reflect on this.

Just recently...I had to see a specialist.. a hematologist... for a serious anemia problem I have had with this pregnancy.
  I arrive at an office I had never been to before...
I am walking to the front entrance, and read ... Cancer Center.
Hmmm.. His office is in the Cancer Center.
I take a few short turns here and there to come upon a large waiting room, with chairs in a circle,
and...
another area where a line of reclining chairs over-look wide- open glass windows,, viewing the snow covered ground.
Patients fill these chairs,,, overlooking God's creation..
They have IV Ports, chemo treatments, and loved ones sitting by and holding their hands.
Some have smiles.. Hope..
Some...nothing.  Blank expressions and pain filled grimaces.

I am anemic.  I am receiving Iron IV Infusions once a week.  I am alive, and carrying another life.
I have HOPE.... MY salvation is in HIM.

There comes a time...


When,, in every new season,, We need to bow down low.
Fall on our knees..
Thank God for Undeserving Grace.

All of our vehicles have retired to the "fix," pile...Our business is slow, my health has not been the best this pregnancy,,, and
I hear others around me complain.

And then... I am at the hospital.. three times a week, for Blood to be drawn, B-12 shots, and Iron Ivs,
I am bed-ridden for days due to low iron and inability to function..
And as the nurse is now struggling with my veins,,, and she tells me how "tired" my veins are..

God moves me to great compassion for those that have life-long health issues,
Get their veins poked relentlessly every day,,, every month, every year.
And they suffer.

There comes a time...

When the GRACE God offers is ALL I need.
ALL  I need...

38 weeks along in my pregnancy,,, last week...
I find out ...
That we have to switch to a new Care provider, and a new Hospital.
I am tested for Lyme's Disease...
If a woman has Lyme's disease during pregnancy...
It is a grim outcome for her newborn baby.
My mind wanders back to a babys funeral.  Our baby girl.
I don't want to do this again.
My knees are brought low.
My head is turned towards the Heaven's..
and I KNOW
GRACE.
Eucharisto.

We wait for the results... tomorrow maybe?
Please Lord, Can I have this baby girl to hold and to love?
Can I raise her for you?

There comes a time...
When..
It all seems clear..
Do I really mean what I sing? 
Mean what I say?
Mean what I pray?
BELIEVE what I read in His Word?

I DO.
There comes a time in every new Season of Life...
Where God will ask YOU...
Do you really KNOW what Grace is?
It is PEACE.

Would you share with me?

Our Baby Blessing is due so soon.  I am anxious to see her face...rest her cheeks against mine,,,feel her warmth against my arms.
She has a strong bond with me already. She moves to our touch on my belly, she stretches when I am finally comfortable.

 She loves her sweet sisters singing to her... but the my most intriguing and special part of carrying her in my womb, is..
Baby Blessing reacts to my hear-rate.  I am in awe.
My other pregnancies also had their unique and amazing qualities... some were drawn to music.. some to voices... some to food/sugar.
But, This sweet baby girl reacts to me.  When I am calm.. she is calm
When I am laying in bed, thinking about something that might be worrisome, or a little frightening,, she reacts.
I love this baby girl, and she will be here soon.

So... Could you share with me?.

What?

Well., for each birth, we compile a list of verses for our labor and delivery.
Dan will bring them and read them aloud to me... calling on the Name of the Lord.. and using His Word to comfort me, and keep me focused.
He prays, reads our verses, speaks to me in calming tones, and is with me to the very end.

I am working on my list again.  I often will pull the same list, and change it for every birth.
Verses on comfort, Strength, His Presence, His Faithfulness, His Promises.
Verses boldly proclaiming Trust, Peace, and Thankfulness.

Would YOU share with me?
Share a Verse or two, or three.. that I can write into my list for this Journey of birth and life.
A Journey of pain, trust, and new beginnings.

I am so thankful for those that read and share here at One September Day... and your prayers and sharing will add to the day soon to arrive.

Blessings to you my dear friends.

Take a memo

My new motto:

"Take a memo.."

Pregnancy,, at least this go-around has brought new challenges, and a new outlook on accomplishing just what needs to be done, and nothing more.

Why?  I just simply cannot.
Physically under the weather- I have resolved to "Take a memo...." and get it done "later."
Whenever later is.

It has not been easy for me to put things off.  Not one single bit. 
But, I do know this... IT has created in me an understanding of those that suffer physically every single day...
It has taught me not to get caught up in the emotion of inability...you either can or you can't.. and I definitely am not one to not try.
And.. more importantly,,, the Lord and I have had soo much more time together.  I am so thankful for this.... this time with my Father in Heaven.

His Comfort, His Peace, His Strength, and His Provision - Is ALL I need.

 So, for ... The Cleaning, Organizing, Errands, Meal Planning, Date nights, Fellowship, and all the things that fill up time...

"Take a memo... God is ALL I need.. nothing more."

So, welcome little baby of ours... soon in my arms... I will hold you and tell you of an Amazing God we have... and we will discover HIM all over again -  TOGETHER!

These things I love

"Let the Words of my mouth and the Meditations of my heart, be pleasing unto you O Lord."

These things I love:

These are a few of my favorite things.

Love.

I see the Good.. I choose joy.

Close and Reflect .. Open and Refresh

There are many times in my day, that I find I need to do some closing.

Sometimes the sounds of life  are so deafening and overwhelming... I have learned that I need to just:

-Go in my room and CLOSE the door
-CLOSE my mind to negative thoughts
-CLOSE the book I am trying to read
-CLOSE my computer
-Keep the door to my heart CLOSED to anger and despair
-Keep my mouth CLOSED to snide, negative and fleeting thoughts of disallusion
-CLOSE my eyes and Reflect

Often when I CLOSE and REFLECT..

I am later able to OPEN and be REFRESHED

-I am more OPEN to the day God has chosen for me
-I can OPEN my heart to others
-I am OPEN to His will
-I can OPEN my eyes in the morning to the sweet sound of life that dwells our home
-I can OPEN a book or my computer when time allows,, and not when I think I deserve to
-I OPEN God's Word with and OPEN heart and Reflect and come away REFRESHED

Do you ever feel the daily grind is weighing on you heavily?
Do not let your mind and heart think that chaos is what God has planned for you...
It is NOT.
Give Him your load of worry, fear, or the race of life that you are living.

CLOSE your eyes and Reflect on what is really important in this very moment of your day.

With prayer and thanksgiving  - Give Him the moments. 
They are HIS any ways.. right?

ClOSE and REFLECT
OPEN and REFRESH

Bear up under the weight

One September Day is a day in my life.
Nothing more than that... all to bring Glory to the Lord.

A lot of things we carry on our hearts, don't we?

Sometimes we look around and think that others must never struggle with the trials we, ourselves are experiencing, and so...
 we clam up, shut down, and hide the trials from those that can help us bear them, and encourage us.

Don't do this.
God never meant for His children to bear hard times alone.

This is what trials are for... many purposes...
1.) Growth
2.) Learning
3.)Leaning on Jesus
4.)Encourage others
5.)Change

A trial can be a heavy weight... sometimes too much, it seems.
So heavy, it seems we cannot come out from under it... ever..
Sometimes so sad, lonely, and heavy, that we cannot see any light.  No Light at all.

Going through a difficult time right now?
If you feel as if the weight of it is too much to bear,,,,
think on this....

If we do not bear under the weight that he asks us to carry right now,,,
And we come out from under it... OUR way....
Then ,,..
Just... maybe...
Probably  soo....
HE will ask us to "carry this burden another way.. another time.."

Until we Change, Learn, Grow, and Encourage others with the Lesson we learned.

So,,,
Bear up Under the Weight of it...
He has a Glorious Plan...
It IS so hard..
I know.
I really do know.

Hurting,,, Angry.. Confused... or even lonely?

Look to the Cross... All that pain is there ,,, and was put there for you already...

He has chosen LIFE-
A FULL life for all of us.

Being on the outside of a trial right now, I can share the hope...

Grab a hold of it... if you need it today...
He loves you.  He cares.
Bear up under the weight.

From my heart.

Insecurity Knocks! Guest Post

SOO  Excited to ANNOUNCE...

A New Feature at One September Day-

Guest Post

This week- Beth Gibbs

Beth is a wife, a mom to three children and blessed to be able to be a fulltime homemaker, currently living in Mooresville,NC.

 She can be contacted at bethagibbs@gmail.com

A Beautiful You!

As women, we all have an innate desire to be seen as beautiful. So why do we let the ugliness of insecurity reign in our lives? Why can’t we just look in the mirror and see ourselves as God sees us? We have been created in His image, after all. Does that mean that we’re perfect? By all means no.

We start looking at celebrities in their size zero, trendy fashions with their hair and make up absolutely perfect and we begin to have that inward, heart wrenching feeling of self pity and jealousy.
 We look at people in the mall, in their cars, in their luxurious homes and that insecurity begins to overwhelm us...we can never measure up, or so we think.

 This issue has gone beyond the realms of just our little personal thought lives; it has crept into our homes, destroyed inter personal relationships, and it has woven its ugly head into our churches. Why do we covet what we don’t have? Why don’t we trust the Lord, with gratefulness, for the talents in which He has entrusted us?

 Now, perhaps, in all honesty, there things that you need to do…perhaps you need to put away that chocolate bar and get out and exercise. Maybe you even need to make sure that your family is clean and your house, although it may never grace the cover of a magazine, is respectable.

But just HOW is that yearning, for what you don’t have, to be quenched? Through grabbing our credit cards and feeling the joy of sliding it through that little machine? We walk out of the store with bags filled of “acceptance”…that is until the tags are ripped off, the bills pile up, and then…the next seasons fashion changes.
 How about through eating or drinking to be cool and accepted?
 Living vicariously through our children?
 Unrealistic expectations of our spouse? Oh, yes…you who are married know about that one!! Before you know it, the happiness in external and temporal goods is gone and you’re right back where your insecurity started or perhaps more steps backward from there…why? because in this thing we call life, THINGS don’t really matter and in our heart of hearts, we know it. There is always someone with more...a bigger house, a better decorated home, more expensive clothes (and those who just plain look good in whatever they wear), bigger diamonds, on and on and on it goes…it never ends.
 Will we ever get to the point where our feeling of being inadequate is finally at rest? Will we ever be at peace with “inner” selves?



The truth is, we don’t just have a problem with insecurity. What we have is a problem with our relationship with the Creator of the Universe, the Lord of Lords, the King of Kings, our Heavenly Father…when will you have your heart set on Him and not on your selfish desires?
 When will HE be your “all in all?”
 I am just as guilty here, I have preyed into the lie…and far too often I still hear that little voice in my head that seems to be screaming, “YOU ARE NOT GOOD ENOUGH!”
Well, I have one thing to say to that little voice, “Get behind me satan! You are not welcome here!” We all need to make the daily choice that we will surrender all to Him. YOU have been “fearfully and wonderfully made” (PS 139:14) and God thinks about you more times than there are grains of sand (Ps 139:17,18)!! He loves you, my friend…just the way He created you to be!
 
So when self doubt and insecurities pervade your thoughts and overwhelm your soul…think about how much God loved you and gave His only Son so that He could spend eternity with you. God promises to take care of all of our needs as we trust Him, even the needs of our often weary souls.
 
 Will you join me in the journey of kicking the weeds of insecurity to the curb and allowing God to sow into you, a beautiful life of security wrapped up in Him?
 
 
Thank you Beth, for this inspiring, challenging, and God-honoring post. I am so blessed to re-read this every time.
If you would like to leave a comment here at One September Day for Beth, please do!
Blessings!
 

Take My Hand

Emotions are a strong part of life.  Unfortunately,
.... emotion tries to govern our future,, and it will if we let it.


Whether a Domestic Engineer, ( a.k.a.- mom),, a contractor, day-care provider, journalist, teacher, or whatever may be your calling...
We ALL have emotions.

Life moves so fast, and if we aren't careful, we find our self letting our emotions govern our decisions, our relationships, and our daily outcome.


This is a test I have to try and work through every day.
I know you are not surprised... because you must do the same, right?

It is in the most tempting moments to act on my emotions,, rather than fact, prayer, and steady waiting for the truth to be shown........

That I hear my Lord whisper.. :"Take my Hand."

There have been times that I have ignored this voice of truth.. and reaped sorrowful consequences...
reaped regret and learned many hard lessons.
And, sadly,, will probably find this to be true again...

It is really not an age thing... getting older means getting wiser?
I don't think that this is a truth that can always be stood on...

And I certainly KNOW that I am not any wiser in many areas as well.

The only governing force in my life that spurs growth and understanding is a true submission to my Lord and Savior.
Not man -made wisdom,,,
Nor discussions on what is Right and Wrong...

If any one lacks wisdom, ask it of God..

Here is a verse that we taught our children from the time they could repeat Scripture,, and I am constantly challenged and spurred to remember this:

Proverbs 3:7 - "Be not wise in your own eyes,

                            fear the Lord, and turn away from evil."

                        It will be healing to your flesh and refreshment to your bones."

Feel like emotions are taking over?

He wants to take your hand...

and lead you...

This week...Been there.. again.

How God led me to stop.....

This is a true story of how God is working in my life this week.

For the month of November, I had decided to put out more than I take in....
in other words....
Sowing Christs love in a more relevant way than just letting my walk be my walk.

BUT,,, I strongly believe in keeping my giving, my love and my acts of service for he Lord, and not for show to men.
Therefore, I have not shared on my blog "all" that I am doing in November to make Christs Love more real to people.

THIS story today, I was led to share... to encourage, spur to good works, and to GLORIFY the Lord who created this story from the beginning.

~~~~~~~~~

4 loaves of pumpkin bread sat on my counter.... waiting for me to freeze, eat, or give-away.
We make bread, cookies, and other special treat a lot for neighbors, family and friends...so I knew that his bread would go to someone this week..

Little did I know that I would be strongly convicted to share this bread with someone in this little community of mine,,
where I worship, drive through, and live, and not know some of those behind the closed doors...
who do not set their feet upon our Church doorsteps, or wave when we go by.

I load up three of the children, the bread, some caramel corn, and a strong leading t be a light to those who do not know HIM.
And if they cannot see HIS love in me,, then where will they see it.

Will God care that I was uncomfortable to knock on the doors in this community to say hello, and deliver bread, or will He rejoice when they see His life in mine?

I drive slowly through my little town. I pray, and pray and pray...
not for my nerves, not for strength...

But... I prayed that HE would lead me to stop where HE needed me to shine HIS Light.

His leading was so very clear that day.
My first stop was to a widow, and she was tired from much lawn work she had done on her own that day...
she LOVED the pumpkin bread, and now I know where we can help her.

Second stop.... I was least suspecting that He would lead me here....
Why... this house is straight across the street from our church.
The family waves to us,,,we wave to them... we have seen them out and about..
we do not know them, and no very little about them.
They watch everyone at church come and go...
we have stopped to chat with them once or twice...
they have sent their son to our children's programs, but, they have not come for worship.

I am thinking... "Lord,,, you really don't want me to stop here, do you?"...YES.
"Hm mm.. what if I give this bread to another family?"
...NO.
I slow the van down... truly hesitating,, thinking about how nervous I was to speak to them...why?
I am not even sure why...

We knock on their door... four times... for about 4 minutes...
"OK Lord,, we have tried,,, where now?"

No one came to the door, and so I begin to back the van ot of their driveway.
The father of the home comes out of the garage....
Walks up to my window.. and I smile....nervously...

"Hi,,I made some pumpkin bread and thought that your family might like some today."

He takes the bread without acknowledgement.....

and....

as if we talk every day...
as if he knows me well... like we are friends...

he says..

" My daughter lost her twins today...".. and he is all choked up..

My heart bursts with sadness...tears come to my eyes...

"How far along was she," I ask...

"She was to 8 months along ," he said... "identical, and their cords were tangled today."
He told me that she would have to have a funeral, and how devastating this was.
... the reason no one was able to answer their door.
The look of grief and hopelessness were overwhelming.

WHY was he pouring out his heart to me... a stranger?

14 years ago,.. God knew this day would happen.
The day my identical twin boys lost their life in my womb.. almost ready to be delivered,, and their lives were meant for another purpose.

This moment was so surreal to me.
I cried with him,,, for him,, for her...and ...
Shared how .. we also... had to bury our babies, more than just our twins.

God gave me the words this day...
to share with this man....
and I now will be going back.. following through to this open door ..
with hope for this family.

As I pulled out that driveway.... tears still streaming unabashed..
over the sadness this family is experiencing...
over the empty gap in the line-up of our children...
over the empty arms that I know this young mother is feeling right now...
I was truly comforted knowing that this was HIS plan...

Not for pumpkin bread...
Not for me to be out of my comfort zone...
But to let His Light become a presence behind the closed doors in this community...
where people are hurting...
all of the time...and we never know.

A door is just a barrier that man sees as an excuse to not see beyond the walls of homes and hearts.

There are no doors or walls in Heaven.

My heart was opened to His leading even more ...
Will you pray for this family today?

Where is He leading you to shine?
Don't ignore His calling.

Don't Get Lost

Yes,, I got lost.  a lot of absentee bloggers.. return to their blog with the calming reassurance to their readers that they didn't get lost....

Well....
I DID get lost.

A dear friend... My Lord and Savior... showed me the way back to the precious place called "home"... in HIS arms.. and the reassurance to STAY there.

Confused?  That's ok..

It wasn't as if I was ignoring my blog.. as a matter of fact... I was AVOIDING it...

This is why...

When I began my blog..I purposed that I would no use it to vent, to complain, or as a platform of declaring injustice through my eyes.

So, in this difficult season of my life.. I avoided it... not wanting to be a stumbling block to any one.
And through that time.. I got lost...
I lost touch with my blogging friends..
I lost my desire to write...
I lost my way in my days...
And I lost my hope in people...

He brought back...
I should have never stopped searching
I love to write..
I love my days...
I should have never placed my hope in people...
Just Him.

Don't lose sight of what is really important in life..
I don't need to even share the trials and losses we have had in the last year... to help remind you...

Don't get Lost...
and if you do....
Come back to the ONE and ONLY Comforter..TRUE friend..and healer.. that was and always is there for you.
It is such a better place.

Goodbye Dry Dessert...
Hello Peace and Happiness.

The Road Less Traveled

Our Family is away... on a road less traveled.

A Spiritual battle has been raging around us.. and we will not retreat so far as the enemy will have victory.

We took a little trip away.. to get away from it all..

While we are away.. it occurred to me.. this is the Road Less Traveled.

Others walk away... but, The Road of Faithfulness is... less traveled.. even under attack.

Lord, we ask for much strength and grace .. as we travel this road.

A look into our time away.

Another blessed day  - May we administer grace to all.

A Tall Order

I am just so thankful that the Lord only requires so much of me,, and that He lays that out quite clearly in Scripture.
It is a Tall Order to obey God's Word, and one I take pretty seriously.

What I am learning that I cannot take too seriously... is the weight I use to put on myself to understand why some choose to live the Christian walk ( actions, words, convenience) some days, some moments, and then other times, perhaps it is too Tall of an Order.
( I myself, am found guilty as well... for the negative commenting lurkers.)

This week, I am thanking God that His plan is not for me to worry about the "whys,"  or confusion in the world around me...
He just wants me to know that HE is all that I need.

I am sad to say, that, we all will discover that a Christians walk can definetely be a stumbling block to another..
What we do with that is our responsibility.

Moving on beyond human understanding and comprehension over selfishness... well.. thats my Tall Order for this week.
Hint to those that are trying to follow God's Tall Order for their life...
Don't serve one another with the thinking that your actions, words,  or kindess will be remembered.
Serve ALL for Jesus... and Only Him.
The Tall Order here:
Put aside expectations of return in respect and kindness...
If it was for Jesus.. then that is all that matters.

Growing, growing...every day..
I want to be like Him.
A Tall Order.

Are you with Me?! A Hedge...?

Just to preface... this post is NOT, ( I repeat.. NOT) a post to vent, complain or set pity into action... It is a revelation., a prayer, and an experience in the making...

A Hedge, you ask?...
Yep...

I am speaking of a Hedge of Protection...

 Our Life in 2010 has been one series of events after another that would call for defeat, fear, escape, frustration, defeat ( oh, wait.. I said this already, didn't I?)... and bottom line...a crumpled family that has thrown their faith by the way side.

There have been times in my life when life seems to bring days like this... or perhaps even weeks like this... and rarely a month straight of non-stop problems...
But..
2010 -
 NON-STOP ...
not a day, not a week, not a month... constant..
Not to say there are not blessings, wonderful days, and the ability to see God's Handiwork in our lives..

But I am calling this an outright attack.
And this is where the HEDGE OF PROTECTION comes in.

For THIS I am now praying fervently.
Making a list of the things that are breaking left and right ( major appliances, vehicles, etc. ) would be pointless...
Making a list of personal attacks, unexpected financial surprises or ministry struggles would be pointless...
Making a list of our children's sudden and serious health issues that appear out of no where.. would be pointless...

WHY re-inforce to Satan what HE is trying to do...?
Rather...
PRAY for a HEDGE of PROTECTION!

The Lord protects us, and keeps us in the palm of His Hand...
Making this my daily prayer, and Keeping the Faith will be my best "weapon!"

AMEN!????!!!

Waking up every morning, and seeing smiling faces like the one below... just re-inforces the blessings I have and will NEVER take for granted..
Are you under attack?
I would encourage you to Keep the Faith!
Satan only likes to see us brought to a point of discouragement, and see us throw up our hands in defeat..

When you and I feel like throwing our hands up .. think on this...
RAISE THEM HIGH!!!!

BUT..NOT in defeat.. but with our palms opened to the Heavens, asking God to give us strength and fill us with HOPE.

Let's not let Satan get a foothold in the door of discouragement! 
Are ya with me?
God has NEVER failed me... things and people may,, But God?  Nope.

Keep the Faith!