One September Day

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

In the Face of Depression

The Lord created me in a marvelous way.

He gave me a smile to share with others..
He gifted me with a cheerful spirit...
He allowed me to be made whole through the Sacrifice of His Son.
,,, and then He walked with me  in a sad place... and brought me out.

This post is written to those that are walking in a dark valley.
For those that have been to this place, or know of someone that is there also.

Meeting depression face to face is sobering.
There are many "causes," reasons, and forms of depression.
This post is not intended to expound into those areas.. nor to exam or point to the lack thereof of Spiritual focus that may or may not be involved.

This post is to verify for those women that have had a baby, and have been to a low place, mainly due to hormone imbalance, lack of sleep, etc.. that this place is real, and there IS HOPE.

Having many pregnancies, nursing all of my children, being the sole source of nurturing through the night and mostly during the day can take its toll on a woman.

Let me clarify...
Have even ONE pregnancy can do the same.

The human body is made by our all-knowing Creator in an ever-miraculous way.
The balance is a fine one...
and sometimes the balance tips a little.
Hormones after having a baby.. and during... are strong in either direction.

This is my story...
and after much prayer and contemplation of writing this on my blog..
I know that there are MANY other women in the Face of Depression,,, and can't walk away.

Yes, I am tired.
Yes, I am hormonal after having a baby.
Who isn't?
I have been there many times...many.

But this last baby brought a whole new dimension to tired.
I met depression face to face.

I knew that something wasn't right.
I could not think past the minutes of exhaustion.
I could not move past my bedroom without tears.
There were moments where my pillow held too many tears.
My thoughts were dark...many nights alone on the bathroom floor.. crying tears that had no end.
Many times when my bags were packed and I was going to walk out the door.
My mind told me that no one needed me here any more.
This was NOT the "normal" recovery of tiredness, weepiness that I have had after other babies.
This was threatening my life in so many ways.
These were lies.
Dark lies - a physical and spiritual battle was ensuing.

This is NOT the September that you know.  This is not the September that I Know.
It is not the life that God wants.
With a lot of crying out to God,, He brought my body back to a restored balance and gave me rays of HOPE...
I quoted Scripture,, because it is the only thing that I knew was TRUE.
....Whatsoever is True.. think on these things.

My hormones were in such upheaval, and I could not see that I needed help.  No one knew that I was in this place.
No one.
And I was afraid to share the depths of my despair.. fearing the judgement and lack of genuine concern.
It has become a general rule for moms to be expected to jump back into life as normal, and the time of healing is often forgotten.
The pain of depression is deep, and can often be misjudged as selfishness, isolation, or too wrapped in our babies.
It is a lonely place.

If you are feeling this way after a baby...
please, please tell someone that you love.
Someone that loves you.
Tell them you need help. Prayer. and unconditional love.

If you know someone that has had a baby, and is exhibiting withdrawal, sadness, drastic change in behavior..
Please wrap your arms around them....and don't let go.

They need your prayers, they need your love, and sometimes,,, may need their medical care-giver to re-check their hormones.

This is just the tip of Post Partum Depression...
and it is written only to help someone that may read One September Day to recognize the need to immerse themselves in prayer, Scripture, and loving encouragers.

Depression is a word that seems to offend or be frowned upon...but..

There is Victory in Jesus!

Please contact me or leave a comment if you would like me to pray for you or someone you know.
The Lord has made my heart tender to this lonely place.
Don't leave someone to cry in their corner of their world alone - hoping that they  will "work through it."
See the signs,,,
Take a step in their direction..
and help bear their burden.


Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Where does he hear you?

My eyes are not even open while my face is buried deep into the pillow, hoping that just a few more minutes of sleep will find my body.

No chance there... I hear the baby again...fussing for milk, nurturing, and comfort.
I am awake now...barely... nursing the baby,, and mulling over many thoughts of the day and what it might bring.
Fretting, worry, concerns,, all handed over to the Lord that I am speaking to from the depths of my heart while the house is all quiet and the prayers are a hushed whisper from my lips.. but a deep utterance from my heart.

He hears me.

The house is still.  The baby is now back to sleep, and I debate on a few more minutes of sleep, or charging ahead with the duties left from the day before.

Walking through the still house brings a flood of emotions.
Who left that light on?
The laundry will need to be caught up today... I run a load...fold some... pray more.

He hears me.

Slowly treading the stairs to the kitchen, my hand glides down the railing, thinking of all the little and big hands that have touched this bannister...
those fingerprints will need scrubbed off today..

My mind wanders.. what will those hands do for my Lord when they leave this home?
I pray for their direction.

He hears me.

Ouch,,, I have stepped on an army man,,, or two.. laying in my path to the kitchen to get a drink of water.
The sink needs scrubbed.. it will have to wait.
Agh... the floor didn't get swept well before I turned in last night... my feet are feeling the sand from the kids
running in from playing in the sand box before baths.
It will have to wait.

A lot has had to wait lately.  Lately - the last 23 years of nurturing this home of mine.
I pray that the things that had to wait were not that important.
I pray for the children I gave my time to.

He hears me.

The baby is fussing again... upstairs.. and so I grab my drink of water... turn and begin the climb to keep her cries from waking the other little Indians in their beds.
Just a little more solitude.  This will be it before tomorrow morning at this time.

I walk her, rock her, and pray for the bills, the deadlines, my hard-working husband,  and all of the ways that my children will learn their faith through my walk.
That cannot wait.

He hears me.  He always does... wherever I may be.

Where does He hear you?


Monday, June 27, 2011

Life.. un-edited...

Life is so perfect..

In the unexpected moments... God sends me a reminder of what He wants from me....


He wants all my fears and failures... all my concerns and cares..

Adoration, Praise, Humility and Unabashed Commitment ...


Don't take the real life out of your day -
Try not to hide your in-securities and fears from Him...
Live life where others can see your Blessings and Honor unto Him..
Don't edit out the mistakes that think will make you look imperfect to others..
Let our lives be un-edited so that the imperfections that he is fine-tuning can be made know to all.


Thursday, June 23, 2011

Funky, Groovy Fun

I have this daughter.. who is in all sense...

Don't you just LOVE her new shades??!!
We went to the Goodwill Store
and this was her find..
swim goggles..
But she tagged them as her Bike Glasses
For .25 Cents..
I couldn't refuse!

As soon as she woke up from her nap,, she ran out with her new glasses,
a glass of Rice Krispies Cereal for her adventure..
and she was off!

Need an adventure?  There is always one brewing here .
What made you smile today?
Share here...


Wednesday, June 22, 2011

This is where we are..

Life since having our new baby has had it's ups & down's...
it's going and coming..
it's changes and moving forward!
Here is a small glimpse into what we have been up to...

Here is the new play gym that Dan and his employees spent hours putting together.
This is the 1st new swing set that we have purchased in 20 years of having children!

Sarah painting the deck after it was power-sprayed and in very rough shape.
Looking MUCH better now!

She was covered in paint after rolling it for so may hours... her big graduation party is this weekend,, and so this is one summer project that will be done!

  Very common around here... two mis-matched shoes and ALWAYS on the wrong feet!  Still enjoying life though!

1st Day of Summer wouldn't be complete without a lemonade stand
( back country roads do not bring in a large profit..   lol..
more fun than any thing!)

The BIG Graduation Night... Sarah Kathryn turned 18 and graduated all in the same weekend.

Walking the aisle towards her diploma.

I cannot believe this day has arrived.  So surreal.

Our happy, beautiful baby - that we will be graduating in another 18 years!  This really put life in perspective.

Want a Cookie and Lemonade?  They made $13 6 hours.  They were happy.

More painting on the porch!

She just keeps plugging away at it!


Sarah took this picture on her Senior Trip and it is also her Life Verse that we chose for her when she was a Toddler.


Thursday, June 16, 2011

We are still here!

We are still here and as happy as ever.... and Just as Busy as ever!