One September Day

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

In the Face of Depression

The Lord created me in a marvelous way.

He gave me a smile to share with others..
He gifted me with a cheerful spirit...
He allowed me to be made whole through the Sacrifice of His Son.
,,, and then He walked with me  in a sad place... and brought me out.

This post is written to those that are walking in a dark valley.
For those that have been to this place, or know of someone that is there also.

Meeting depression face to face is sobering.
There are many "causes," reasons, and forms of depression.
This post is not intended to expound into those areas.. nor to exam or point to the lack thereof of Spiritual focus that may or may not be involved.

This post is to verify for those women that have had a baby, and have been to a low place, mainly due to hormone imbalance, lack of sleep, etc.. that this place is real, and there IS HOPE.

Having many pregnancies, nursing all of my children, being the sole source of nurturing through the night and mostly during the day can take its toll on a woman.

Let me clarify...
Have even ONE pregnancy can do the same.

The human body is made by our all-knowing Creator in an ever-miraculous way.
The balance is a fine one...
and sometimes the balance tips a little.
Hormones after having a baby.. and during... are strong in either direction.

This is my story...
and after much prayer and contemplation of writing this on my blog..
I know that there are MANY other women in the Face of Depression,,, and can't walk away.

Yes, I am tired.
Yes, I am hormonal after having a baby.
Who isn't?
I have been there many times...many.

But this last baby brought a whole new dimension to tired.
I met depression face to face.

I knew that something wasn't right.
I could not think past the minutes of exhaustion.
I could not move past my bedroom without tears.
There were moments where my pillow held too many tears.
My thoughts were dark...many nights alone on the bathroom floor.. crying tears that had no end.
Many times when my bags were packed and I was going to walk out the door.
My mind told me that no one needed me here any more.
This was NOT the "normal" recovery of tiredness, weepiness that I have had after other babies.
This was threatening my life in so many ways.
These were lies.
Dark lies - a physical and spiritual battle was ensuing.

This is NOT the September that you know.  This is not the September that I Know.
It is not the life that God wants.
With a lot of crying out to God,, He brought my body back to a restored balance and gave me rays of HOPE...
I quoted Scripture,, because it is the only thing that I knew was TRUE.
....Whatsoever is True.. think on these things.

My hormones were in such upheaval, and I could not see that I needed help.  No one knew that I was in this place.
No one.
And I was afraid to share the depths of my despair.. fearing the judgement and lack of genuine concern.
It has become a general rule for moms to be expected to jump back into life as normal, and the time of healing is often forgotten.
The pain of depression is deep, and can often be misjudged as selfishness, isolation, or too wrapped in our babies.
It is a lonely place.

If you are feeling this way after a baby...
please, please tell someone that you love.
Someone that loves you.
Tell them you need help. Prayer. and unconditional love.

If you know someone that has had a baby, and is exhibiting withdrawal, sadness, drastic change in behavior..
Please wrap your arms around them....and don't let go.

They need your prayers, they need your love, and sometimes,,, may need their medical care-giver to re-check their hormones.

This is just the tip of Post Partum Depression...
and it is written only to help someone that may read One September Day to recognize the need to immerse themselves in prayer, Scripture, and loving encouragers.

Depression is a word that seems to offend or be frowned upon...but..

There is Victory in Jesus!

Please contact me or leave a comment if you would like me to pray for you or someone you know.
The Lord has made my heart tender to this lonely place.
Don't leave someone to cry in their corner of their world alone - hoping that they  will "work through it."
See the signs,,,
Take a step in their direction..
and help bear their burden.



  • At June 29, 2011 at 3:05 PM , Blogger Deb L said...

    Thank you for sharing your heart. There have been so many of us that have been too afraid to let anyone know. We think we have to be "super moms" but that is not what God has intended for us to be. We only need to be the woman that God intended us to be. Thank you for being such a blessing to so many of us.

  • At June 29, 2011 at 3:30 PM , Blogger Brenda Norton said...

    I faced this with our first child eighteen years ago. She had her days and nights mixed up, she screamed half the night from colic, it was awful. I was very young and it was a lot to deal with. I was very emotional and would get mad at others for nothing. Thankfully, being unsaved, I was able to bring myself out on my own. I know what your feeling and will be in prayer for you!!!!

  • At June 29, 2011 at 3:55 PM , Blogger Linda said...

    September..Momma Linda is reaching through blogland with a virtual {{Hug}}. But even more importantly I will bow my head right now and pray for you...and for the others suffering from depression.

    Yes, it does touch many mothers after child birth, or while they are pregnant. I had bouts of it with menopause. Hormones do play a big part.

    I am no authority by any means...but I know that men, women, teens, and even children suffer from depression...and it can be so serious. It is nothing for us to judge...but reason for us to reach out in love, with prayers and encouragement.

    I think it helps so much to embrace those who are going through it. Hugs and just the human touch have a healing and comforting effect. Thanks for the reminder for us to do that.

    A listening ear, words of encouragement and understanding, these are things we all should be doing as Christians.

    I love you and admire you so much. You are my sweet sister in Christ. I will be continuing to pray for you.

    Thank you for bearing your soul today. I am sure it will help others as they read this.

    Since Ben was here in my home, I feel like a part of you has been here with me. I wasn't feeling well, and he hugged me good-bye, and I hugged him back. How sweet to have met your son.

    I thank God for the way He works in our lives. He is always there with us no matter what we are going through.

    He will never leave us. I love that promise.

    Love, Linda

  • At June 29, 2011 at 4:25 PM , Anonymous Melody said...

    I always atruggled with hormonal imbalances, that are most of the time looked at as me being rude, unfriendly, and other "ugly" characteristics. I have so often wanted to sit each and every person that I meet down, and explain to them, "I am going to withdraw and be awkward in social situations. PLEASE don't think that I don't care, or that I think I am too good to talk to you. I just need prayer, and encouragement, and understanding." I now have an 8 month old baby boy, that I didn't know what to do with. Not for lack of experience with babies, but for lack of knowing how to deal with my own emotions, so that I could be there for him. I haven't really told anyone this, because I don't want to seem like I don't love him, or enjoy being his Mommy. The few people that I have tried to talk to about this, and my insecurities about being a parent, have told me how to take my mind off of myself. Don't get me wrong, I do realize that my own problems seem smaller when I am focused on God and others, but I can't keep pushing these feelings aside, and hiding behind a mask either. I don't really know what else to say, other than to ask for prayer, and ask for all who read this to REACH OUT to those who seem a little awkward, and unsure of themselves. You never know what they might be going through.

  • At June 29, 2011 at 4:57 PM , Blogger Lyndsay said...

    Thank you for posting this. I am also suffering from depression. I believe it started when I was pregnant with my 4th and my husband lost his job. Earlier this year after 15 months of unemployment he got a great job and we quickly found out I was pregnant with our 5th (4th child on earth....our first is in heaven). Then at 13 weeks we got the sad news that baby #5 was in heaven too. I totally spiraled down after that. My anger got the best of me and there were times I had horrible thoughts. I knew that wasn't me and it certainly wasn't who I wanted to be. During this time I had already been seeing a therapist so she has helped me and I also went to my general doctor and am now on meds to get things back in shape. I've only been on them 2 weeks, but I feel 100 times better. She is hoping that I will only have to be on them short term and I hope so. Depression is frowned upon, but it is a disease that can be cured and people shouldn't be ashamed and suffer alone! I hope that your family wraps you up and doesn't let you go!

  • At June 29, 2011 at 10:24 PM , Blogger Kate said...

    Amen, amen, amen!! Thank you for writing this! I had these same feelings after Lucy and I was so scared and finally I heard someone else talking about their feelings and I just blurted out "me too!" And I remember the freedom I felt when I finally spoke up! It only took 5 months! Even as a professional counselor I felt like I should have it together and as someone seen by every person at our church I really felt the need to be back physically doing my job and physically the way I looked. It was so hard! I went to my doctor got on some meds to help with the hormones and I feel great now! Thank you for being honest and genuine! Love you!!

  • At June 30, 2011 at 10:07 AM , Blogger Jenilee said...

    Depression is such a real and horrible thing. Thank you for writing so clearly and lovingly about it. I know it will help many women speak out too. The more we share, the more we are able to allow God to use our struggles to help someone else. I wish I could step into your corner and give you a hug but a blogger hug will just have to do today. HUGS!!!

  • At June 30, 2011 at 1:12 PM , Blogger Holly said...

    While I've never dealt with depression, I know women who do. So thank you for sharing!!!!

  • At June 30, 2011 at 4:25 PM , Blogger Michelle said...


    Depression is just one of those monsters that I have had to fight my whole entire life. After the births of my four children it got worse, really, really bad and then slowly began to fade as my hormones returned to normal. But the depression has never left me completely.

    What I hate is the lies the great deceiver puts into our heads when we are at our lowest. And even worse, how I have trained myself not to show my darkness when that is exactly where my mind is dwelling. I tend to "fall of the grid" as I call it when life gets to be too overwhelming and all I want to do is close the doors and never, ever open them again.

    Another word to those who want to pray for those who suffer with depression, don't assume because everything seems to be going absolutely perfect in the person's life that they can't be depressed. I think that's when I struggle the most. And the facade is so hard to keep up, but I do.

    Thank you for posting this:)


  • At July 6, 2011 at 4:21 AM , Blogger Kelly @ Sufficient Grace Ministries said...

    September...this is such an amazing, "real" post. Thank you, my beautiful friend, for baring your heart and soul so beautifully here. I have encountered the darkness of depression, myself a time or two. It is not easy for us Christians to admit battling depression and hormone issues, sometimes. I have struggled with that added burden at times..."I should be able to shake out of have enough faith...not to need any help". Isolating thoughts that keep me in the pit, you know? I am grateful for God's mercy and gentle leading from darkness to light as we cling to Him. He uses many avenues of healing and He is faithful...

    Thank you again for this post! Love and prayers for you...

  • At July 6, 2011 at 2:44 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    Non hormonal depression. Even greater stigma. Reject. Loser. Basket case. Hopeless. Overly sensitive. The list goes on. I keep my "secret" because admitting it often deepens the gloom. Only my Savior really knows, and that's all that matters. Printed verses on a keyring have been my lifeguard. Thanks for being bold enough, real enough, caring enough, to be open and honest, and to share. I am encouraged...again.

  • At July 15, 2011 at 4:36 PM , Blogger Holli said...

    Thanks for sharing. I suffered from postpartum depression after our first son...hormonal imbalances...nutritional deficiencies...spiritual warfare...whatever the cause it is deep and dark. I remember quoting scripture and crying out to God when I was in the shower or supposed to be napping when my mom or grandmother was watching the new baby. Thankfully he heard and brought mu out once again to a spacious place. The proof of my healing for me is 4 more little ones and no more depression. I wasn't sure I could ever have another little one. I'm so grateful for his healing.


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