In the Face of Depression
He gave me a smile to share with others..
He gifted me with a cheerful spirit...
He allowed me to be made whole through the Sacrifice of His Son.
,,, and then He walked with me in a sad place... and brought me out.
There are many "causes," reasons, and forms of depression.
This post is not intended to expound into those areas.. nor to exam or point to the lack thereof of Spiritual focus that may or may not be involved.
This post is to verify for those women that have had a baby, and have been to a low place, mainly due to hormone imbalance, lack of sleep, etc.. that this place is real, and there IS HOPE.
Having many pregnancies, nursing all of my children, being the sole source of nurturing through the night and mostly during the day can take its toll on a woman.
Let me clarify...
Have even ONE pregnancy can do the same.
The human body is made by our all-knowing Creator in an ever-miraculous way.
The balance is a fine one...
and sometimes the balance tips a little.
Hormones after having a baby.. and during... are strong in either direction.
This is my story...
and after much prayer and contemplation of writing this on my blog..
I know that there are MANY other women in the Face of Depression,,, and can't walk away.
Yes, I am tired.
Yes, I am hormonal after having a baby.
I have been there many times...many.
But this last baby brought a whole new dimension to tired.
I met depression face to face.
I knew that something wasn't right.
I could not think past the minutes of exhaustion.
I could not move past my bedroom without tears.
There were moments where my pillow held too many tears.
My thoughts were dark...many nights alone on the bathroom floor.. crying tears that had no end.
Many times when my bags were packed and I was going to walk out the door.
My mind told me that no one needed me here any more.
This was NOT the "normal" recovery of tiredness, weepiness that I have had after other babies.
This was threatening my life in so many ways.
These were lies.
Dark lies - a physical and spiritual battle was ensuing.
This is NOT the September that you know. This is not the September that I Know.
It is not the life that God wants.
With a lot of crying out to God,, He brought my body back to a restored balance and gave me rays of HOPE...
I quoted Scripture,, because it is the only thing that I knew was TRUE.
....Whatsoever is True.. think on these things.
My hormones were in such upheaval, and I could not see that I needed help. No one knew that I was in this place.
And I was afraid to share the depths of my despair.. fearing the judgement and lack of genuine concern.
It has become a general rule for moms to be expected to jump back into life as normal, and the time of healing is often forgotten.
The pain of depression is deep, and can often be misjudged as selfishness, isolation, or too wrapped in our babies.
It is a lonely place.
If you are feeling this way after a baby...
please, please tell someone that you love.
Someone that loves you.
Tell them you need help. Prayer. and unconditional love.
If you know someone that has had a baby, and is exhibiting withdrawal, sadness, drastic change in behavior..
Please wrap your arms around them....and don't let go.
They need your prayers, they need your love, and sometimes,,, may need their medical care-giver to re-check their hormones.
This is just the tip of Post Partum Depression...
and it is written only to help someone that may read One September Day to recognize the need to immerse themselves in prayer, Scripture, and loving encouragers.
Depression is a word that seems to offend or be frowned upon...but..
There is Victory in Jesus!
Please contact me or leave a comment if you would like me to pray for you or someone you know.
The Lord has made my heart tender to this lonely place.
Don't leave someone to cry in their corner of their world alone - hoping that they will "work through it."
See the signs,,,
Take a step in their direction..
and help bear their burden.
Labels: My Faith