One September Day

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Who am I- really?

Below is a story about who I really am.  I am joining in Wednesdays Walk, hosted in blogging world, by a great blogging buddy, Jenilee.  Click on the Wednesday Walk button to visit her blog as well.

This is a story of : Seeing Life Through Different Lenses...

It was three weeks ago.. one of those frigid cold days, when the wind blows, and your face hurts from walking to and from the car.
I had some errands to run... I took one of the girls with me, and we skipped lunch to make the shopping trip faster.
After shopping, I bought 2 small french fries, so that we could each have a treat on the way home.. our stomachs would wait no longer.

As we were leaving the store, the wind had picked up a little, and I told her we were going to make a "mad dash," for the van.  My ears would not tolerate that frigid air.
Exiting the store.. there was a mom, her baby, and her toddler standing outside in the cold air, and the little ones were crying.. hard.
The babys' nose was running...the toddler was screaming he was hungry, and the mom was smoking her cigarrette... outside...cold.

Angry- that is all I could think about the whole time I was loading the van hurriedly.. cold, and still hearing the baby crying,,
and did I mention.. the mom was yelling at the baby to "knock it off..!"

My daughter and I hop in the van, crank up the heat, and needless to say.. I am seething with anger at this mother who had to have her cigarrette.. outside, and so her children had to suffer.. the cold, runny noses, no hats on, and crying...
...all the while.. she is yelling at them.

I roll down my window to see if I can still hear the baby crying... yes.
And now, I see the mom chasing the toddler across the front of the store, and pulling him by his pants ,, his knees all skinned up, and she is yelling.. "get over here you brat!"
In the meantime,, the baby is standing up in the cart, ready to fall out, and screaming.

Anger...  can you feel it too?  Those poor children.. all I could think about was those children.

And then... As if God was stnading right next to me,, and Conviction had an audible Voice..
I hear..
"If you are so angry, then why aren't you doing something about it?"

(sigh.. I should have seen that coming.)

OK God. You are right.

And so, throwing my pride out the window, putting the van in rehearse to back out and pull up to the Scene.. and checking the clock to see if I have time to help before I have to be gome...I am still working on my anger.

I roll down my window, and through a smiling clenched teeth, I ask the mother if she is waiting for a ride. 
 She says, "yeah.. I am waiting for a taxi."
Me- "Would you like a ride, since the wait is so cold for the babies?"
Her- "Yeah, sure."

I get out to help her load up her bags and children into my very spacious 15 passenger van, and buckle the children into car-seats -  empty today for this apparent reason.

It is so cold out.. the babys' nose is still runnning, and I realize that both of her children have horrible, horrible coughs, ( and are now coughing all over MY babies car seats.)

Did I hear you right Lord?

I ask her where she lives...

Totally opposite direction of my home, about a 30 minute trip out - of - the way. 
Yep, this is a test of my walking the talk.

We are about 5 minutes into the trip to her home, and her baby begins crying uncontrollably.
The mom tells me that her children have not eaten.  She says, that she told them if they were goo at the store, she would buy them something to eat...
She said they were "brats," ( her words), and so she was punishing them with no food.
Guess what her children see on my dash?

You got it..
Our two- small french fries. 
I look at my daughter who is trying to console the baby, wiping her nose, and she and I have a mutual look of understanding that our french fries would now serve a greater purpose.
The baby was quiet all the way home.. warm, no more runny nose, and food in her belly.

I take time to get to know this very young  mother, and her past is no shocking story,, if you can imagine.. a life of young pregnancy, and un-guided decisions.  Now a single mom of quite a few, and running on empty.
Seemingly heartless and misguided, she tells me that she has big plans, and it doesn't sound as if the kids are a big part of those. 
Her apartment was meager, to say the least, and she was telling me how much her cost of living is.
I was astounded by the outrageous amount she is given each month to live,, for free.. and then the housing she is given money to live there. 
It all seemed a little backwards.

Angry?  No.  Sad.  Ashamed. - of my anger.
I still feel deeply for those children and their circumstances... and upon dropping this young, single mom and her children off, I was exposed to a world that I knew was out there, and have taught my children about in many discussion about thinking beyond
but here we go..
Where the "rubber meets the road,"
to walk the talk
that I have
taught my children for many years.

I would never turn some one in need away.
But, that day, when I came out of the store, for some reason, my emotions and thoughts were on the anger over irresponsible behavior rather than the deeper needs that I was to meet that day.

So Who am I?
A sinner, saved by grace.
Seeing the world through a different lense each day.



  • At March 17, 2010 at 8:22 AM , Blogger Jenilee said...

    What an amazing story. Yes, I could feel the anger, the frustration and what an amazing thing to listen to that still small voice, obey and allow God to use you like that. Wow. I will be praying for those precious babies and that young mom. There are so many hurting people in our world. Thankfully, God will use us, if we are willing to be used by Him. Thanks for sharing this walk with us!

  • At March 17, 2010 at 10:55 AM , Blogger Kate said...

    Wow! What a powerful story. I would have felt very much the same way you did. Thank the Lord you listened to his prompting and followed through with this young mom. I am sure you blessed those kids in more ways than you could ever believe!!

  • At March 17, 2010 at 1:02 PM , Blogger Lori said...

    I'm a social worker and I have worked in child welfare for 8 years so I can relate to the feelings you had that day.

    What really got me about your story is that we've been talking about being a "miracle messenger" for Jesus in my church this past month. How we get "nudges" from God and how we can answer those and be on a "miracle mission" with the Lord. I was thinking about the different steps of that ALL through your story! Thanks for sharing and thanks for showing that family the kind of love they may have never seen!

  • At March 17, 2010 at 1:50 PM , Blogger Stacey said...

    A story we can all relate to in one way or another. I don't even know you, but I'm so proud of you for obeying the voice of the Lord.

    Visiting from Wednesday's Walk:

  • At March 17, 2010 at 2:27 PM , Blogger Heather said...

    Wow, what a touching story. I almost was in tears for those poor babies. It's so sad and hurts to think about because my baby boy is loved and taken care of so much.
    That is wonderful that you listened to God and helped her. I have to admit, that would have been hard for me to do. I would have come up with some excuse like "No, Lord, I'm not qualified, someone else will help." Unfortunately if we all say that, then no one will be helped.
    I'm glad you helped them.

  • At March 17, 2010 at 7:12 PM , Blogger Lisa said...

    A sinner saved by grace. Me too! But for the grace of God go I. You may never know "the rest of the story" in this life.

  • At March 17, 2010 at 8:35 PM , Blogger Kelly @ Sufficient Grace Ministries said...

    September, this story is amazing...thank you so much for sharing it. I was convicted, I read. Many times I have seen mothers yelling and even cussing at their small children in the parking lot of WalMart or in the store. It breaks my heart, and makes me angry. But, I often just walk away and say a prayer.

    You, my dear walked the talk beautifully...what a gift for your daughter to see what it looks like to be the hands and feet of Jesus to someone else.

    Thank you for your soft heart...thank you for following His leading...and thank you for sharing this with us.

    Love to you...

  • At March 18, 2010 at 1:25 AM , Blogger croleyc69 said...

    What a great story and so glad you helped. I just love that feeling after helping someone. God is Good. Thanx for sharing this.

  • At March 18, 2010 at 7:57 AM , Blogger melanie said...

    *sigh*. that is a powerful story. I put myself in your shoes and could only hope I would be obedient to the Lord's voice as you were. I don't have children yet but I feel the anger and frustration when I see adults treating children that way. And now I must ask myself, "What is it the Lord would have me do?"

    Thank you for sharing in Wednesday's Walk.

    Also I read your full story and my heart was breaking and yet my spirit encouraged--by your steadfast faith in the Lord and his continuous provision and comfort for you.

    I look forward to learning more of you and your family. :)

  • At March 18, 2010 at 8:44 PM , Blogger Holly said...

    Thank you so much for sharing. It made me angry reading about how this woman treated her children. But I know I would've just been angry and walked away instead of helping her. I am so glad you helped her. You never know what kind of impact you can have on a person and this shows me that I should just take a step back and see how I can help.

  • At March 21, 2010 at 10:13 PM , Blogger Angela said...

    This is such an encouraging story, September. May God open my eyes, too, to see the world through His lenses....

    Love ya,

  • At April 19, 2010 at 12:35 AM , Blogger Joyeful said...

    This brought tears to my eyes! I'm so convicted for being too busy sometimes to meet the needs around me. Thank you for following His heart and for being His hands and feet!!

    I pray that I will see what He sees and go where He goes.

  • At May 10, 2010 at 12:09 AM , Blogger Lynnette Kraft said...

    You got angry and then let God soften your heart. He wanted to use you. What a beautiful story. I'm proud of you and am so glad you shared your story here.
    Thank you for inspiring me Em.


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