One September Day

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Oh, How I love thee!

A husband is a gift..
A family is as well.

Life is like a roller -coaster, and so are our emotions.
And,,, that.. is why we should never let our emotions rule our behavior, or our decisions.

Placing our relationship with our spouse ahead of our other priorities is more important than we realize.

Motherhood is not flattering.  Lack of sleep, slobbery-loving kisses, shoulders with spit-up, diaper changes and chapped hands from washing, snuggles and cuddles with wrinkled clothing, taxi driving and wind-blown hair from play ground days    =  A condition of "feeling" not so attractive and ready for a husbands embrace.

Are we on the same page?

Making our relationships a priority definetely takes work, effort in so many areas.
But, the Lord knows that when we desire to make this an area we want to improve, then He gives us the strength to follow through.

A lot of times, the actions have to preceed the feelings.

Here are a few ideas that my we have tried and have found to be helpful:

* Weekly Date Night - just the two of you.. either going out for a simple walk, meal, or time alone
                                    OR
                                  - Saving $ and putting children to bed with instructions to stay in bed.. having a take out simple meal, movie, or talking time.

*Time together when work day ends, and before family time begins.  Making this a priority helps bring you both onto the same"page."
This may require a little more effort and training for the children.  Learning that it is "ok" for mom and dad to be talking without them being the center of attention.

*Understanding the stress-load that either is carrying and looking for ways to help "carry it."
Moms and Dads, both, have a lot to do, a lot to think about, and sometimes it helps to know that we are getting another helping hand, extra prayer support, and arms to turn to when the raod gets tough.
Frustration from work, bills, life in general seems to be taken personal in a relationship, when sometimes it can be deferred by an understanding spouse, rather than feeling as if it is a personal attack.
Perspective...  that is what I tend to call it.

*Positive praise and affirmation- Saying positive things to our spouse does not come naturally to many couples- especially after the first few years of marriage has passed.
Remembering the things that we admire in one another from the beginning help us with a platform to begin.
Positive words and affirmation of our admiration are huge stepping stones in a marriage.
Sometimes saying the words even when it is hard, makes the heart grow softer to a desire to be closer to our spouse.

*Special ways to say- thank you. - An assumption of the roles and responsibilities in a family can set a marriage up for resentment and frustration. Coming to a place where we appreciate the tasks of the other and coming alongside to help, encourage and show our thankfulness goes a long, long way.
Notes, flowers, cards, words of appreciation, speaking words of praise in public, and following through with aacts of service will show our thankfulness.

*Always putting the other first- over parents, children, work, and schedules.  There will always be exceptions, and flexibility, but the very best way for our spouse to SEE and KNOW that we put them 1st, is that are willing to do that.

Questions to ask oursleves:
-Where am I and what am I doing when my spouse is done with work?
-Where do  I sit in the car.van when we are together as a family?
-Do I have words of praise on my tongue on front of the children, and in public concerning my spouse?
-Do I look for opportunities to help or encourage them after a long day?
-Do I make their problems my problems?
-Have I had any time alone with them this week, month, etc.?
-When was the last time that I told them thank you... or even, I admire you?
- Do we have our own schedule and agenda each day- meeting up only when it is convenient?
-Do our children know that our marriage relationship comes first?

Being a mom is a High- Calling.  Being a Wife is a gift.
Cherish it.. hold on tight.

Please share your ideas here.. I decided not to make this post any more lengthy than it is... and let you "pipe in" with your thoughts.

- September

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7 Comments:

  • At May 11, 2010 at 9:03 PM , Blogger Paige said...

    Love the post today! Thanks for the suggestions and for provoking my thoughts. It makes me think about John and Kate Gosslin...in every interview they always are so proud of themselves for saying "We put our kids first." That is why there marriage failed...God, Spouse, Kids!!

     
  • At May 15, 2010 at 11:16 AM , Blogger Holly said...

    Such great points!! Thank you! I am guilty of not giving my husband the quality time he deserves or telling him how much I appreciate all he does around the house.

     
  • At May 17, 2010 at 4:22 PM , Blogger Kelly @ Sufficient Grace Ministries said...

    Love this post, September...

    So important to remember to nurture our marriage and love and honor our husbands.

    Thank you...

     
  • At May 28, 2010 at 4:38 PM , Blogger Lynnette Kraft said...

    Dearest, you haven't blogged in 17 days! I miss you. Say something. :)
    Love you Em!
    Your chum, Et.

     
  • At May 28, 2010 at 4:39 PM , Blogger Lynnette Kraft said...

    You know what - Blogger dropped me off of some of the blogs that I followed. Did you notice I wasn't on your Followers list anymore? Weird! How'd that happen? Oh well - there I am again. :)

     
  • At May 29, 2010 at 1:05 PM , Blogger Coby said...

    Stopping by from Lynnette's blog...this was a wonderful post! Thank you!

    Hubby and I have a date night out once a month, and Saturday morning coffee without the kids is a must! I really like your idea of a date night "in" - I think I'll propose that to Hubby!

     
  • At May 30, 2010 at 7:41 AM , Blogger Verna said...

    Lynette is right... She misses you, but she is not the only one that misses you. I miss you too.

    Too busy with God, hubby and children to think of US?

    I know the feeling of being too busy. I'm guilty of that myself. When we get everything moved I am hoping to slow down a bit. Spending yesterday with my husband moving things was not what I called quality husband/wife time. It was indeed stressful!

     

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